Monk's slayers and demons oh my!
by gd07
Summary: Kagome tells Shippo a story, the 3 little pigs revised with Inuyasha charecters


The Hyperactive little fox ran around the raging fire, that the group had started, as he munched on his crunch bar. "Kagome! Kagome! Tell me a story I can't sleep! Please!" Pleaded Shippo as he hoped up and down reaching the tip of his chocolate induced insomnia.

Kagome sighed and picked up a short story book that she had packed in her over stuffed back. Inuyasha just stretched and yawned annoyed at Shippo.

"Sigh Kagome just tell him a story, so we can all go to sleep" growled the crumby and tired Inuyasha.

Sango and Miroku nearly sighed in agreement. It had been a very rough day, for them all. What with chasing down Naraku and his minions and warding off the love sick Koga? "All right Shippo, come sit here please... Opps sorry Inuyasha I didn't mean it" smiled and laughed Kagome, as he looks at the imbedded figure of Inuyasha.

Inuyasha just growled angrily in reply, and pulled himself out of the hole as soon as the spell wore off. "Just tell the brat a story" growled Inuyasha threatening. Kagome just smiled sweetly at Inuyasha, and as she looked away, his stone hard sneering gaze softened. As he steadily began to forgive Kagome, over the accidental sit command.

Sango got up for where she was sitting, and strode away for the perfect monk indignantly, she looked back at the perverted monk with a look of disgust on her face. The monk, Miroku had once again, tried to fell up poor Sango, and he had gotten knocked unconscious because of it.

Sango thought as she walked away " Damn, I wish I could sit Miroku, like Kagome could do at will, with Inuyasha." Sango sat quietly as she tried to listen to the story Kagome would tell Shippo tonight, even if he has heard everyone, along with Sango and everyone else, but Sango loved the stories Kagome told anyway, no matter how many times she's heard them.

"So Shippo, what story do you want to hear tonight the 3 little pigs" asked Kagome inquzitley "No I've heard it a million times Kagome' complained the whiny child demon. "Little red riding hood" "Heard it" "Goldilocks and the 3 bears" "Boring" "How about...Jack and the bean stalk" "Boy gets rich, giant dies...heard it" dismissed Shippo snidely.

"Well, I'm sorry Shippo, then I can't tell you any other stories, and those are all the ones I know, guess you'll just have to go to bed." Said Kagome, as she explained the situation to Shippo.

Shippo, though silently about the situation, and since he didn't want to go to bed now, he made a brave surrgestion to Kagome. "Well...then, I guess you can make one up Kagome... Yeah! I bet you could make up a great story, a real good one pleases!" Exclaimed the overly excite Shippo, as he got up and hoped up and down hoping to persuade Kagome even more.

Kagome sweat dropped and laughed nervously. "Uh, gee Shippo, I don't think I can make a good story, I'm really terrible at coming up with things on the spot" pleaded Kagome honestly.

"Oh, c'mon Kagome pleeeeeaaasssssse!" Begged the little Shippo. As he gave her the cutest face, he ever managed. Which as he had suspected, Kagome could never resist, as she gave in to his pleas.

Kagome looked at the excited Shippo. She smiled sweetly at the fox; she just couldn't resist his charm. So she simply nodded in agreement and decided to make up a story along the way. "Oh, ok I'll try... Once upon a time there were 3 little..." "Foxes! No. A little fox, a monk and an exterminator." Laughed Shippo playfully. With the attention, of Shippo's loud request, all of them, who were just ignoring the story suddenly tuned in and listened. Even Inuyasha started to pay attention, to the story secretly hoping he was going to be in it.

"Alright, the little estranged family of the fox, monk, and exterminator, had been sent on their journey to find a new life, seeing as how the monk Miroku, had felt up one women to many at the last village they visited, and had gotten them kicked out, and chased away by the angry villagers"

Kagome took a quick break to catch her breath, and to let Sango and Shippo get over their laughing fit. While, Sango sat there and laughed hysterically, along with Shippo about the little remark made about poor Miroku. Meanwhile, Miroku was sitting solemnly on a tree stump and listened to the story, even if it started out good. It still hurt him that they had made such an unprecedented remark about his lecherous ways. " I'm not a pervert, my hands just don't know when to stop"

Kagome looked at the group quietly and giggled at the story. She was never good at telling story's but, she figured she could tell a fairly decent one for her little adopted son. She smiled at the laughing duo, and indicated that she was ready to continue with the newly adapted story. Sango and Shippo had stopped laughing immediately. They really wanted to hear the rest of ague's new story. Miroku, had finial built up enough courage to come over, ignoring his earlier assault by Sango, and forgiving Kagome for the moment for pointing out his perverted ways, in the most shameful form? Miroku walked over silently, and took a seat next to Shippo, slightly afraid that Sango was still mad at him.

"So the 3 were walking around, in their vastly green forest, when they came to a 3-way road, each road going off into a different direction. The monk Miroku decided to speak up and take the right road, where a pile of straw was stacked in clear view. "I know I'll make a house out of straw, and continue living n my own ways" smiled Miroku proudly. With that he had started down the road, and just as he was leaving he reached over, and coped a quick and finial fell for now, on the unsuspecting exterminator, whose name was Sango. It also just so happens, that the exterminator Sango, was very strong and powerful, so she reached with all her strength and struck the monk as hard as she could. So she had hit him so hard, that Miroku, didn't even need to walk and find a clearing, it just so happens that the monk hit him hard enough to knock him out, and into the perfect clearing for his house."

Kagome stopped for some breath again, and smiled at the way that her story was turning out to be. The others had seemed to be enjoying the story, even Miroku seemed to be enjoying it to a degree, but he didn't dislike it enough to interrupt the story, or protest it. She smiled happily at seeing that every one was enjoying her story, even Inuyasha, even if he just pretended to not listen. Kagome looked at the other expectant faces, and started telling her story once again.

"And so with Miroku gone, Sango and the fox, Shippo had to choose a path of there own, to build a house to live in. The fox, Shippo decided he would take the middle path, in order to build a house of wood, starting with the pile, at the beginning of his road. The little fox was about to go on his way, when he finally remembered a question that he had wanted to ask Sango before he left. So he asked her quickly "Hey Sango, you got anymore candy?"

Unfortunately Sango just shook her head in reply at the pathetic display, at how the fox would do for candy. "No sorry Shippo, I don't have any" So with the Shippo, just sighed and went on his way and decided he just have to go to bed on time. Like a good little fox"  
Shippo merrily laughed at that, taking the little hint that Kagome had given him, and ignored it completely. He absolutely refused to go to bed, until Kagome had told him her story; after all he wasn't in the least bit tired. Kagome, finally seeing that the mischievous little foxes, was ignoring her hint. She just decided to go on with the story.

"Then, with Sango being left alone, Sango decided to take the last road, which had a large pile of bricks on the end of it. Just perfect for the kind of house she wanted to build. So the entire group was separated building their own house. Miroku's out of straw. Once he had regained consciousness. Shippo out of wood and finally Sango out of brick.

Miroku had seemed to be enjoying the story even more, especially since there was no mention of his perverted ways. While, Shippo grew more and more into the story, because he thought it was good, and loved it even more since Kagome was the one telling it to him. Having listened to Kagome's story from up in his tree, Inuyasha had finally decided to climb down and listen to the story in more depth. Which is what he did, as he climbed down the tree, and took a seat quietly next to Kagome.

"Now. After they go to building their houses, night came upon them pretty fast, and by the end of the day they had had it all completed...and.then" Kagome took pauses she heard Inuyasha breathing get heavier, as Inuyasha leaned even closer in to hear the story. Inuyasha had finally caught himself on what he was doing and leaned away from Kagome once again, getting embarrassed for getting into the story so much. "Then What!" Pleaded Shippo" Inuyasha just reached over to the excited Shippo and hit him on the head harshly, hard enough to cause a large bump and bruise. Inuyasha growled Irritably at Shippo. "Grrr. Shut ups, and let her finish". Inuyasha growled angrily as he shoved the hyperactive Shippo down. It was quite a few seconds as Kagome tried to think of something else.

"And then... And then...a dark looming figure appeared at the 3 roadway sniffing the air delicately...sniff what's that smell, sniff mmm...ramen" inquired the big evil hanyou, whose name was lightning flash...Inuyasha!" Inuyasha yelled with rage, he was shocked. How come he had to be the evil one. The whole group, except for Inuyasha broke up laughing. Inuyasha though he shouldn't be in the story, much less as the villain. He growled angrily at Kagome, at which she just smiled and laughed in reply. Seeing that Kagome was not going take his threat likely, he jumped indignantly in to his tree again, and refused to listen to the story, even though he couldn't resist. I'll show her.She smiled sweetly up, at Inuyasha. But, he just ignored it completely, and stayed quiet hoping to hear where Kagome was going to make him do in the story.

"At the scent of the ramen. Inuyasha was on his way to the first house, which had the best smelling ramen. Which happened to be Miroku's wooded house. So Inuyasha walked down to the monk's house, where he eventually after a long walk gotten to it. When he had got there he had seen Miroku's poorly made house made of straw. He knocked on the door gently, not wanting to cave the delicate house in before he could get at the ramen. Miroku then called out. "Who is it?" "Evil demon, coming for your ramen" called Inuyasha snidely. "Oh...ah!" Screamed Miroku, as he opened the door to let Inuyasha in, then at the last second closed it in time, leaving the demon outside infuriated.

"Let me in" yelled Inuyasha loudly. "Miroku just bolted his door in reply to the hanyou's request. He then he then yelled for Inuyasha to go away, he could not break down his house. Inuyasha just laughed at the weak challenge, and inhaled deeply all the air he could hold. He smiled evilly at the panicking monk in the window, and let out all of the air at once, blowing the entire straw house to pieces."

"The monk was totally surprised, he thought that his straw house was safe. But, he was wrong. He quickly got up and tried to run away, for fear that Inuyasha was chasing him. But, Inuyasha wasn't chasing Miroku. He was sitting in the wreckage looking for the ramen soup he had smelled. When then he had searched the entire wreckage, and found no ramen or any food at all. He became very enraged, and ran off after the fleeing Miroku, hoping he'd get some food one way or another from the monk.

"But, by then the monk had reached the little foxes, strong wooden home. He knocked franticly at the door, and kicked it as hard as he could, hoping that the little fox wasn't asleep. "Shippo! Shippo! Help! Let me in" screamed Miroku at the top of his lungs.  
The little fox, had opened the door, and was rubbing his eyes sleepily, as he was surprised to see his old friend Miroku, run into his house in a panic. "Miroku? What's the matter with you?" Growled Shippo sleepily. "M...M...my house, it's gone, a demon named Inuyasha, he blew down my house, I thin k he followed me" panicked Miroku.

Shippo laughed at this, and sat down quietly waiting for his uninvited quest to come. As Miroku and Shippo sat down, and began to relax, a very loud voice and a loud hard boom was heard at the door. "Let me in monk" screamed the enraged Inuyasha.

Shippo and Miroku gasped in reply, and Shippo decided to taunt Inuyasha childishly. "I wouldn't let you in, not by the hairs on my chiny chin chin, gee where have I heard that before" muttered Shippo quietly.

T this taunt Inuyasha became furious. He began to pound on the door, even harder, and shrieked as he hurt his hand on the door. Inuyasha growled angrily as he felt his hand throb painfully. "Let me in you stopped fox!" Threatened Inuyasha coldly.

"Ha you wish, you'd never break down my house like Miroku's"

Inuyasha just smiled mischievously at the wooden house. He raised up his powerful and with all his might kicked the house down with his left foot. The house tilted to one side and then finally fell down. Miroku and Shippo gasped freighting. Inuyasha smiled evilly at the 2, and began to walk slowly towards them. Shippo and Miroku backed away slowly from Inuyasha. They had to find a way out, but how? Then suddenly Shippo had an idea.

Hey, Inuyasha, look over there! Pointed Shippo quickly.  
Huh" asked Inuyasha. And as he turned around Shippo and Miroku were off, running as fast as they could to get to Sango's house for protection.

Huh.hey there's nothing there...turns around hey! Get back here" yelled Inuyasha angrily as he took off after the 2.  
Inuyasha was off in a flash after the two. Miroku and Shippo ran as fast as they could. "Sango! Sango!' cried the frightened Shippo. Sango had been sleeping soundly, when she heard the loud screams. She then got up as quickly as she could, and went to the door only to see 2 blurring figures as they ran inside her house. "What the hell is the matter with you too?" Asked Sango angrily. "Were being chased by Inuyasha...quick lock the door. And bolt it shut" gasped Miroku as he tried to get his breath back.

Sango quickly ran to her door and bolted it shut, just as Inuyasha had rammed himself into it. Inuyasha was furious now, he was so close! He knew if he got this place down. They'd be his. He knew all to well that the only house was miles away and by then he would have caught them.  
"Let me in now" raged Inuyasha. "Let me in or else I'll have to knock this ugly house down." Threatened Inuyasha coldly.

Sango just laughed at that. She had built her house quite solidly and she believed no one could knock it down. "I'd like to see you try" mocked Sango snidely. Inuyasha just smiled and laughed cockily at the women's insolence.  
"Oh, yeah...well take this" yelled Inuyasha as he raised his right leg.

Oh my god, he's going to pee on my house thought Sango. But, Inuyasha, just kicked her house really hard. Inuyasha stood there silently for one second, then he suddenly yelped very loudly in pain, and had a big tear well up in his eyes. He then grabbed his hurt foot, and started to hop around comically, and shout and scream obscenities while he was yelling in pain.

The trio laughed uproarisly at the yelping Inuyasha. With everyone laughing at him, just made him even angrier. So angry, that he had at first chosen to just let them go of course after he had taken all their ramen. But, now that they had humiliated, angered him and caused him pain, he had to kill them, but he wondered how was he going to.  
Her had to get away fast, and think of a plan. He quickly retreated into the forest, vowing back at the 3 that he'd be back for them, in a matter of minuets. Once they heard that he was gone, everyone in the house rejoiced happily, that the evil hanyou, had had enough, and had decided to flee the scene. Sango was so happy, that Inuyasha was gone, and that she was going to live. That she didn't even notice that the perverted monk had copped a quick light fell. So after, Miroku had gotten what he had came close to Sango for, he retreated quickly to the other side of the room, hoping that she had not noticed, since he still had the bruise from earlier. She was so busy, that she hadn't noticed, and started to boil a large pot in her fireplace. Where she then whipped out all the ramen she had, in celebration of their escape.

Meanwhile, deep in the forest Inuyasha was back thinking about his plan. Grumbling to himself, about letting those humans get the best of him, and humiliating him, the way they had. "How could I let that happen" whispered Inuyasha to himself? He then though about it, and hit the ground hard angrily, and started thinking of the ways to get the 3, and make them pay for them making him look like an idiot. He also wanted to get revenge on them, and get his ramen too. Something he once heard someone referring to as having your cake and eating it too.  
"Well, I could try to kick the door out...but I may hurt my stupid foot again... I could jump through the window, or go through it, but I'd hurt and cut myself, and also by the time I got up they'd be all over me, damn, every way I think of has a major flaw, there must be a way in. in only. Scratches head That's it! The chimney, I'll go down the chimney, and get them. It's perfect, they would never suspect that" smiled Inuyasha triumphantly. At that he then got up, and ran back to the house, he had a plan and it was a damn good one too.

Sango, Miroku and Shippo were sitting quietly waiting for their ramen to cook. When they were just about to totally relax, when they heard a loud booming angry voice outside. "You stupid humans! Your ass and ramen are mine, you understand" screamed Inuyasha wildly.  
Sango just sighed sadly, and said "Oh, look he's back again, Shippo, go make sure the doors are locked and bolted, and Miroku go make sure that he stays out" commanded Sango casually.

Inuyasha became even angrier at the fact that they were taking his supposed homicidal attack, so lightly. He had to execute his plan, and get back at them quickly, before they got the chance to humiliate them even more. He took of at a run, and with one powerful high leap, he landed on Sango's roof with a loud bang.

"What the hell was that" gasped Miroku. They then quickly looked out the window, and saw nothing. Inuyasha had left them again, or so they thought. When they were all about to sigh a happy relief sigh, they heard loud footsteps on the roof. "He's on the roof Sango!" Cried the frightened Shippo. "Yeah, that's right you bastards, prepare to die" Inuyasha yelled as he laughed evilly.  
At that they all knew it was too late. They would have to die, by the hands, of the demon they had humiliated. So they grabbed Shippo, and moved back, and cowered in the far corner. They heard Inuyasha struggling and grunting to get into the tightly fit chimney." Damn" growled Inuyasha lowly.

Hearing the struggling Inuyasha on the roof gave Shippo an idea for a taunt. "Hey, what the matter Inuyasha.you too fat" snickered Shippo cruelly. Sango and Miroku couldn't help but, laugh at the comment made to there "overweight" tormentor. Hearing the 3 laugh at his misfortune, and at the fat joke Shippo made, just pushed him to the edge of his anger, and he started to thrash around madly in the chimney, to see if he'd magically fit.  
After Sango, had laughed some, she finally remembered the boiling pot, and thought she could stop him from getting in through the chimney, and made the fire go up full blast. While, up on the roof. Inuyasha had had enough with the humans, taunting him, and the ramen smell driving him mad now, to add to the trouble, he was too fat to get through the chimney. He had come up with another plan, but it wasn't the most graceful one. He decided to slip off all of his clothes to get through, all except his boxers. So he climbed out, and slipped off his kimono and stood there half- naked in his blue ducky designed boxers. He knew if he let them see him, it'd be a disgrace to him, and every demon out there. But, he figured if it helps him get revenge on them, for being so much trouble it'd be worth it. So Inuyasha just smiled evilly and smiled down at the 3. "You ready! You should have just given me your ramen, now I'm going to have to kill you"

Everyone shivered in the corner at that comment. But, Sango remained calm, and was ready to tell them her plan. "Okay, guys Inuyasha is coming down the chimney, I turned up the fire to stop him, but it won't do the trick. So my plan is when he lands in the pot we hit him as hard as we can and try to get the top over him. He wants his ramen he'll get it" smiled Sango evilly.

Sango and Miroku got up and grabbed 2 blunt weapons, Sango holding her large boomerang and Miroku a large hammer. Shippo would have gotten a weapon to bludgeon Inuyasha with, but he couldn't pick any of them up. So he decided he'd be the one to seal Inuyasha in the pot.  
While up in the roof, Inuyasha stomped loudly and deliberately trying to get them even more scared. Though it'd look quite comical, if anyone saw him stomping on the roof in his stylish yet comical boxers. Little did he know that at the bottom waited Miroku, Sango and Shippo ready to pummel his brains in?

Inuyasha quickly got tired of stomping around and thought it was time to slit some throats. He laughed evilly as he leaned over to climb into the chimney. When he was fully in he let go, to slip through the chimney. When he made a loud splash and landed fully into the boiling pot, where when in the instant he landed, he was bludgeoned hard by Sango and Miroku, and then as fast as he had landed in the water, the pot lid was over him. "Yea we did it" yelled Shippo happily. "Open the pot, we need to get him out before he cooks" advised Miroku. When he reached over to pull off the top, the scalded and bruised Inuyasha took of like a shot screaming "Moooooommmmmyyyy!"

When he landed, he was on the roof, where he grabbed his clothes and took of like a flash. The 3 cheered and cheered, until Miroku took Sango's hand a seriously proposed his trademark question for no reason "Sango, will you bare my child?"

At the instant he said this she got angry and slapped him into the scalding pot, and busted his hammer over his thick head. Miroku sat comically in the pot confused in dazed muttering to himself "oh look at the dancing maidens"  
Then the 3 laughed comically, even though Miroku was still confused, and after that Miroku and Shippo left them to build their houses, again hoping they learned from their past mistakes. Where after that they were on a constant alert for Inuyasha, but other than that they lived happily ever after"

The end

Now, at the end of the story, the group clapped uproarisly, all except for Inuyasha. Shippo was the one that clapped the loudest; he was the one that had loved the story the most. Sango was laughing also, she had enjoyed the story too, but not nearly as much as Shippo had.

' What a great story Kagome' complimented Sango as she nudged Miroku indicating it was his turn to compliment her. "Yeah, it was. Even if you portrayed me all wrong" smiled Miroku wisely. "Tell another one Kagome! Please!" Pleaded Shippo giving Kagome the pouty lip face.

But, this one time Kagome resisted, she was pretty tired and couldn't make another story so soon. After all she wasn't on a sugar high, like her little friend. "I'm sorry Shippo, It's really late and you should be in bed anyway" explained Kagome as she tried to usher Shippo off to bed.  
Shippo knew not to argue, he was pretty tired, and if Kagome didn't want to tell him another story he'd listen, for now at least. It was a pretty good story thought Shippo. It's been greedy of me to make her tell another Shippo smiled at Kagome, and said goodnight to the group. Then went off to his tent, as did Miroku and Sango. After that, all that was left was Kagome, and the drowsy and cranky Inuyasha.

Kagome walked over to Inuyasha beloved tree, where he jumped into while she was telling the story. "Inuyasha" "What Kagome" "You okay, you seem mad" "Of course I'm mad you put me in your story as the big bad and idiotic hanyou!" "Well, you seemed to be the best part, I put everyone into the story, I figured it'd be rude, and mean of me, not to put you into the story, even as one of my favorite characters"

Inuyasha looked down surprised at Kagome. Her favorite character. He looked at her fully, and was amazed and dumbstruck at her beauty and kindness to him, even if he was being a total ass about the fictional story. He then smiled at her secretly, and forgave her for the time being, or at least till they had their next argument. He then said something that totally surprised Kagome, "Well...it was a good story" whispered Inuyasha quietly.

Kagome smiled sweetly at that comment. "he liked it. He really did" gasped Kagome. She was her own little world relishing the comment when she heard Inuyasha voice again.

"Well. Kagome, better get to bed, we got shards to get come tomorrow, and I don't plan on letting you sleep in" advised Inuyasha.  
Kagome quickly snapped out of her state, and yelled back at Inuyasha "Well, good night Inuyasha." smiled Kagome sweetly. She walked back to her tent to go to sleep for the night.

Inuyasha stood in his tree shocked at her casual comment . hesighed happily, and then drifted off to sleep.

The End (The real one)


End file.
